Optimism Is like Training a Muscle
Some people are naturally optimistic and can see the bright side of every situation. Other people are less this way and tend to notice the shadow side of things or worry about the worst-case scenario. Not many people will argue that optimism is beneficial and can help you both in your personal life and with your professional development. But if you're one of those individuals who struggle to be optimistic, this can make things hard for you! It can be challenging when working with a client struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel. When you're unable to see the light yourself, it's not easy to convince someone else that there is.
I will preface that I believe that every emotion is valid. It is reasonable for a person to acknowledge that they are struggling, in pain, discouraged, or downright angry with their circumstances. I do not believe that optimism should be used to try to convince someone that their unhappy emotions aren't justified or that it should be used to communicate to someone that they can just “fix” their problems by silver-lining it and seeing the bright side of things. That message is not the intended purpose of this blog. The intended message highlights the fact that optimism doesn't always come easy for people, and it is something to be practiced, much like strengthening a muscle. Again, while some people naturally have this skill, others do not. This blog is for those natural pessimists out there (such as myself) or those who look strictly at facts and struggle to believe that something good can come out of a situation when there are no facts to support that belief.
Any behavior pattern can become a habit...for better or for worse. For example, optimism is a habit that can be learned if practiced enough times. Thanks to ongoing research on Neuroplasticity, we are learning that the brain actually has the capacity to change and create new neuropathways if a behavior pattern is repeated. When a pattern is done enough times, the neuropathway becomes so engrained in the brain that the person no longer needs to even think about what they are doing, and they begin doing the pattern without even realizing it! This can be a behavior pattern such as yelling at someone every time you're mad, to a thought pattern such as engaging in self-criticism when you perceive yourself to fail.
Another example is the automatic behavior response to go to the gym for a quick workout to decrease stress or a thought pattern of practicing empathy when you find yourself upset when someone disrespects you. These patterns don't just happen; they were practiced enough times to where they became automatic. So if you want to be a more optimistic person yet find yourself struggling to do this naturally, try practicing in small ways each day to get your neuropathways started.
Here are some small ways you can practice optimism
Take time to reflect on three things you are thankful for at the end of the day.
Reflect on a time when something positive happened out of a really challenging circumstance that you were once in
Read an encouraging story (non-fiction or fiction) of someone who persevered through a challenging circumstance, remained optimistic, and found that positive things came from their trial.
Consider what positive things could come from a trial you're currently in, or consider what you are learning about yourself in this current trial.
Reflect on what things you have learned from a trial in the past that you may not have otherwise learned
When you're struggling to find optimism, consider the pros and cons of thinking optimistically (What do I lose or gain by being optimistic? What do I gain or lose by not being optimistic?)
As always, be kind to yourself and permit yourself to take small steps as you let your neuropathways develop. With time, you may just find yourself making a habit out of optimism!
-Katie K LMHC, MHP, SUDP