Why Change is Hard
While change can be fun and exciting for some, it can be challenging for a large portion of people. Have you ever found yourself sticking to the same routine, relationship, job, exercise regimen, habits, etc., even when you're dissatisfied with it? Sometimes the work required to make change feels so hard that staying with the same thing is more comfortable despite how painful, tedious, or stressful that something is. Our brain is wired to conserve energy and it gets comfortable when we stick to our same routines. This is really helpful at times, like if you eat predictably throughout the week. Going grocery shopping is quick and simple since you already know where you're going and what items you're looking for. It's helpful when dropping off the kids at school or driving yourself to work; since those routes are familiar to you, it requires little energy to think about where you're going. This energy-conserving mode can work against us when we know we would benefit from some type of change, but our brain might resist it. Change requires our brain to work harder than usual, which can be uncomfortable or even unbearable to some. The good news is that our brain is very adaptable and what may seem hard at first will then get more manageable once we repeat the changed behavior again and again.
Let's say you're bored with your exercise regimen and you're hoping to change up this regimen in a way that will bring you some more variation. What are some practical ways to help yourself make this change, even if it might feel too exhausting?
Consider and accept the reality that change will require more energy at first because your brain likes to conserve energy and it will have to work outside of this mode for a while.
Encourage and remind yourself that not after too long will your brain adapt to this new change and your brain will again conserve energy with this recent change.
Build Mastery - Make small and reasonable steps toward your goal that allow you to feel successful and competent (e.g., next time you go to the gym, observe someone who is on the new piece of equipment you want to to try and observe how the piece of equipment works, perhaps ask a trainer in the gym how to use the machine, or watch a video online with how to use it. Bring a friend with you to the gym and try the new machine with them, followed by the next day you try this machine solo).
Cope ahead and plan for success. Prepare for barriers that may get in the way of you making this change and identify a solution to get through those barriers. For example, you may anticipate being too hungry after work to go to the gym, or you may forget your gym clothes. Plan ahead, have a snack ready and keep a bag of gym clothes in the trunk of your car.
Reinforce yourself for the small steps you did take toward change. If you found yourself trying a new piece of gym equipment, you joined a new workout class or participating in a whole new form of exercise; you can reinforce this by maybe telling someone about your experience and highlighting the things you liked about what you just did (getting positive feedback from another person not only is inherently reinforcing but it also creates a level of accountability since someone now is aware of this change you're making).
REPEAT! Be sure to engage in the changed behavior as consistently as possible to build a sense of mastery and to give your brain more opportunities to adapt to this change.
Be sure to remind yourself that just because something is hard does not necessarily mean that it's “bad,” “shouldn't happen,” or isn't possible.
-Katie K LMHC, SUDP, MHP